Making Shabbat Special

A few years ago I was having a conversation with some friends about how we could make Shabbat special for our families, especially our children. One father's remark has stayed with me since then. "My children always know when it's Friday night," he said with a wry smile. "Shabbat is the only day when we have dessert!" I doubt that you will find his suggestion in any book of Jewish ritual, but he certainly has the right idea. In order to appreciate how special Shabbat is, the day has to be different somehow. Of course there are distinctive mitzvot (candle lighting, kiddush, etc.) and they are important by themselves. But how these mitzvot are done can be as important as simply doing them. This month I have decided to share a few suggestions that could help make Shabbat more meaningful and unique for your family.

Involve the Whole Family

There is an old saying, "You remember only 10% of what you see, but 90% of what you do." When family members participate in "making Shabbat" they are likely to both "remember" and "observe" as the Torah commands us. In my family for example, my wife and both of our daughters chant the candle blessing. My son has assumed the duty of preparing the Shabbat meal, giving Mother a well-deserved rest! When everyone has a role to play the family bonds around the Shabbat.

Our Shabbat Best

Give Shabbat Your Best

Set the table with your best dishes. Spread a white tablecloth (a symbol of purity). Have a special cup that you use only for making kiddush. Perhaps decorate the table with some flowers. Make the setting festive! If a very important guest was coming to your home, wouldn't you want to extend special hospitality? What "visitor" could be more important than the Shabbat Queen?

Do Something Different

Be creative in your observance. Learn some Shabbat songs and spend some time with the family singing and dancing on Shabbat. In good weather have a Shabbat meal outdoors, especially if you have access to a beautiful setting like a garden. Tell or read stories to your children. If your children are older, involve them in studying the weekly Torah portion. If they are grown and living on their own, invite them to spend Shabbat with you. Take a family Shabbat walk. And of course there is my son's favorite activity: the traditional Shabbat nap! 

The very nature of Shabbat is a day set apart from the usual, workday activities. It is a day to connect with G-d, with Torah and with each other. Shabbat observance doesn't have to be complicated or difficult, but it must be special. With a bit of forethought, Shabbat can the most wonderful, enjoyable day of each week. To you and your family, I wish Shabbat Shalom!

Relate Links:
Notes on Shabbat Observance (Ritualwell)
Shabbat (Judaism 101)
Shabbat.com