"Teach Them to Your Children"

One of the most challenging responsibilities for any Jewish parent is transmitting the Tradition to his or her children. The task often seems even more daunting when one is still new to Jewish observance himself. So many questions crowd into the mind: How can I teach what I don't fully understand myself? What if my children really don't want to learn Torah? How can I make Jewish values and rituals relevant to my children? These questions and more make some parents reluctant to start. Too many parents simply delegate the task of teaching Judaism to the local synagogue. Far too often, when Bar/Bat Mitzvah class ends so does the child's Jewish observance!

I remember how intimidated I  felt when I first began my Jewish journey. Fortunately I quickly discovered that sharing Torah with my children was not "mission impossible!" In this post I will share some tips that I have learned "Along the Way." I hope they will inspire you to begin or to carry on!

You have already started!

As I have reminded parents on many occasions, we are all teachers. Your children see what you do and hear what you say. They interact with you in countless ways.Your children learn quickly what you consider important in your life. When you light Shabbat candles, observe Chanukah, attend synagogue services, or perform mitzvot, you are teaching your children that these are things that matter. That in itself is a very important lesson.

Children want to learn.

They may not admit it, but your children want to learn. They are looking for meaning and purpose in life. Even when they seem to be rebelling, it is because they are frustrated at not understanding or not having found an answer. Don't give up! Be positive, be enthusiastic, and most importantly be consistent. If you are there for them eventually they will come to you.

Brit Milah

Start sharing now.

A parent once asked me, "When should I start my child's Jewish education?"

"How old is your child?" I asked.

"Seven years old."

I smiled and said, "You are about seven years too late!"

Seriously, my wife and I took our children with us everywhere we went even as infants. They learned not only that there is a Jewish way to light candles and to pray, but there is a Jewish way to attend a baseball game and go shopping. When children grow up with Jewish values and Jewish observance, they are learning to be Jewish.

Learn with your children.

Don't be concerned that you "don't know it all." No one does! As you study, learn and practice, share what you learn with your children. Learning and growing together will build a lasting bond between you and your children that is built on Jewish values and mitzvot. My son is now 34 years of age and we still learn and study together.

Synagogue school and Jewish day school are both valuable resources, but there is no substitute for the parent-child relationship for lasting learning. To build a strong relationship and insure the transmission of the Tradition to the next generation, the task of teaching our children diligently falls to us parents. Give it your best effort. "If you raise a window the tiniest bit, Hashem will fling open the door!"

Related links:
Learning Resources (URJ)
My Jewish Learning (website)
Jewish Living and Learning (USCJ)